The sacrificial donut

Last night, Dave and I chaperoned a lock in. Over 40 children between the ages of 9-12. Most of them girls. Screaming. Adorable. Ear piercing. Chatty. Girls. This is my third year of lock in madness and you would think I would be used to it. But no. They pull something new on me every year. The first year the girls kept me up until 3AM making surreptitious fart noises. Last year, I was woken up for bathroom permission 48769827689376 times in one night. PEE ALONE! This year, it was the donuts.

Despite one girl forgetting a sleeping bag, and another girl sans pillow, causing me to sleep uncovered on the floor with my overnight bag propping up my aching head.Everything was great. Then came the morning. Sucking down coffee at the table the girls all sat down near me with their donuts. There was a pauses filled with happy little eating noises them...a single voice. "Lyz, how come you're not eating a donut?"

How do you explain to over 20 girls that its too much sugar. You ate your weight in gummy bears and if you have one more piece of sugar you might contract diabetes right there in the church gym and they will be forced to saw off your feet with their pink nail clippers.

"Ummm..." I said.

Then came the chorus of little voices.
"Are you on a diet?"
"Oh yeah, donuts make you fat."
"I don't want my donut."
"Me either."
"Donuts are gross."

"No, no, I want a donut," I said. "I was just...waiting until you all got one."
I ran to the table and came back with the biggest most sprinkly donut of all time.

"YUMMMMM...donuts are good in moderation and no one should be on a diet."

Then the chorus.
"Oh I love donuts."
"The chocolate kind!"
"Sprinkles are fun."

The happy little eating noises commenced again. Those girls are too little and too precious to even think about dieting and when I find out who even put that idea in their heads I am coming after them with a giant box of Krispy Kremes and cramming them down their throats.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to collapse into a sugar and sleep deprived coma. And take a years worth of birth control.